“ISSUES THAT CONFRONTS MARRIAGE LIFE”

“ISSUES THAT CONFRONTS MARRIAGE LIFE”

Rev. Jeric C. Cortado, 2016

A family ministry specialist said that, “A wedding lasts for a day, while a marriage lasts a lifetime.” What makes a marriage is what you do tomorrow, and the next day, and the following weeks and months and years. And in doing our marriage life, God in Genesis 1:28 reminds, that our lifelong goal is to be fruitful in life and being productive in life. Fill the earth and subdue it with our love to God and to one another. As we go along to our marriage life there are lot of issues and concerns needs to confront as married couple.

Based on what we have experienced as a United Methodist Clergy married to a United Methodist Deaconess, having a child affect our marital intimacy as married couple. After our seminary education we were assigned by our bishop in a small Methodist community of Cotabato City for two years (2007-2009). This was our first assignment as married couple and both of us received P2,000.00 monthly allowance, enough to survive and sustain our basic needs in the parsonage (convent). It took almost 2 years (1 year and 7 months) when we have our first child that changed our lifestyle as husband and wife, as a pastor and deaconess of our church. Our budget for food, medicines, and clothing affected and changed. Since, we need to consider already the diaper, milk, medicines, and other needs of our baby. Even our regular routines changed. In addition to our schedules of Bible Study Fellowship during weekdays, visiting the sick and elders, and other pastoral work and services is our post-natal check-up and vaccination of our baby in the barangay health center. Although this is not a big issue to us, but it’s a big deal to those young couple who got involved in teenage pregnancy and who did not prepare themselves to such concerns of bearing and rearing a child. According to the report, teenage pregnancy cases are increasing and very alarming. This happen mostly when they go to college and far from their family.

This is the period when they encounter new environment and culture different from our home. This is also the stage where our young people prone to many temptations and distractions. In these issues and concerns, the role of parents should help their children to define the necessary conditions for serious decisions of life. Christian parents are tasked to guide their children to be in God-centered, person-oriented, and environmental friendly home and community. The teaching of the Church pointed out that, “authentic conjugal love will be more highly prized …….if Christian couples give outstanding witness to faithfulness and harmony in their love, and to their concern for educating their children….” (Gaudium Et Spes # 49).

Meaning, the teachings of the Church on Christian family, Marriage, Human Sexuality and Parenting should be transmitted, taught and being discussed to every family. Realizing that truly “the family is a kind of school of deeper humanity. ….it needs the kindly communion of minds and the joint deliberation of spouses, …… in the education of their children. The active presence of the father is highly beneficial to their formation. The children, especially the younger among them, need the care of their mother at home. This domestic role of heirs must be safely preserved…..” (Gaudium Et Spes # 52).

Going back to our experience, the first three month of having a first child is very challenging yet inspiring because it prepared us into more complex child parenting and that would help us as husband and wife to love with truth and vitality each other while enjoying doing our task. It made us more confident to give advises during our Pre-Marriage Seminars and homilies during Christian Wedding Mass. Even we have so many responsibilities to do, the smile of each other, especially of our daughter strengthen and replenish our energy to work.

This simply says that marriage is not a piece of paper, it is a gift.  Marriage is a gift, the gift of yourself, of your life. And it is not just today. Every day from here forward, you must continue to give yourselves to one another. Amen.